German and Me: Linguistic Directness

Germans are known for being direct and straightforward, especially in comparison to us equivocating Americans. I’ve found this to be generally true. They say what they mean. They mean what they say. Punkt. But this cultural directness is also amazingly reflected in the German language. Take, for instance, our word ambulance. If you didn’t know the English word, there’s nothing about it that suggests what it is. Conversely, the German word is Krankenwagen, which just the two words Kranken (“the sick”) + wagen (“car”), or simply “sick car.” I’ve had plenty of “duh” moments this year when I get hung up because I don’t know the word for a concept like “progress” only to be told it’s Fortschritt, meaning literally a “step forth.” But conversely, I feel rather proud when I see a word for the first time like gleichzeitig (literally “same-time-ly”) and correctly guess that it’s the German word for “simultaneous.” Or unumgänglich ("un-go-about-able”), or as we would say, "essential." So really, this linguistic directness is surprisingly quite helpful to the German learner. You also get a sense of that directness from the compound words posted earlier this week. Being the ultimate über-nerd, I have spent much of the year writing down funny examples of this linguistic directness. And now, dear friends, to show you how this plays out on a daily basis here in Deutschland, it’s time for a little game. I’ll give you the German word and its direct translation, and you come up with our convoluted, non-descriptive, English word. C’mon, it’ll be fun and worth a few laughs, I promise! I’ll post the answers in a couple days.

Example: Krankenwagen: sick wagen = ambulance

Glühbirne: glowing pear =

Kühlschrank: cool cabinet =

Handschuhe: hand shoes =

Fahrstuhl: riding chair =

Fingerhut: finger hat =

Unkraut: not an herb =

Zahnfleisch: tooth flesh =

Blindarm: blind/dummy intestine =

Gehirnerschütterung: brain jolting/shaking =

Durchfall: fall through (ailment) =

Gelbsucht: yellow addiction (ailment) =

Nacktschnecke: naked snail =

Stinktier: stink animal =

Nashorn: nose horn =

Hundertfüßer: hundred footer =

Waschbär: wash bear =

Nilpferd/Flusspferd: Nile/River horse =

Vorfreude: pre-joy =

Muskelkater: muscle hangover =

Brustwarze: breast wart =

Staubsauger: dust sucker =

Ausweglosigkeit: state of having no way out =

Vorstandsvorsitzender: in a company, the one who stands in front of those who sit in front =

Viel Spaß!!! (Have fun!!!)